 
Have you ever heard the saying that “Prosperity is your natural state?” If this is true, why are so many people suffering, angry, frustrated, miserable, and unhappy with life? I believe this is occurring because of their egos are working overtime to keep them stuck in their self-imposed boxes (realities).
The ego is our conscious identity of who we think we are, but this identity is only an illusion. (See my article: “Is Your Ego Your Master?” for a more detailed explanation of the ego). Although the ego is not who we really are, it is controlling the lives of most people.
Think about it! How many times in your life have you set goals to change the results you experience in your life such as becoming wealthy, losing weight, or improving your relationships and were unsuccessful? You were not successful because your ego is sabotaging your intentions. The ego perceives its main job is to ensure your survival, but this is a fallacy. The ego is not concerned with your survival, but its own, and it protects itself by controlling you from changing your self-imposed box.
Although the ego has no power of its own, it is has a bundle of deceptive traps at its disposal to ensure that it remain in control of your life. When you are aware of these ego traps, it will be easier for you to distinguish your ego from the yourself (the True you), and it will be easier for you to surrender your yourself from the illusion of the ego and enjoy a prosperous life.
In this 3 part article, I will discuss the traps the ego uses to keep most people from enjoying the abundance of the Universe and living a life of peace, joy, and happiness.
1. The ego always prophesies negative futures
The Ego does not like change and uncertainty because they represent a threat to its survival. The ego always wants what is safe, secure and predictable, but life was not set up to be this way. When confronted with change or uncertainty, your ego compare the present moment to what happened to you in your past and predicts a negative future to protect you from pain such as embarrassment, guilt, shame, etc. It accomplishes this by causing you to experience fear.
Fear is one of the ego’s most powerful tactics it uses to maintain control over us. Fear is our prison, and it keeps most people trapped in a limited reality of struggle and unhappiness. If you use your Will and choose to change your reality, your ego will begin to generate resistance in the form of fear. All fear is, in essence, fear of the future and the unknown. Most people are afraid of the things that have not yet happened, but which if they did might bring them pain, suffering or some other discomfort. Since the ego likes to be in control, and it does not know the future, it prophesies what you may experience, and these prophecies are always negative in nature.
Action Item:
lf you experience fear, recognize that you are being controlled by your ego, and you are not aligned with Source Energy (God). Furthermore, your present thoughts are focused on what if (what can go wrong). Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, change your thoughts to what you want, and know that you are being guided by God. Just Let Go, and Let God (trust in the divine power of God). When you really DO this, your fear will dissipate.
2. The ego always want more
The ego continually bombards us with the idea that we must have more in order to be happy. The ego always wants more possessions, whether it is material goods such a new car, a new job or new clothes, or intrinsic possessions such as fame, status or power. It believes that having stuff is the key to survival, but its satisfaction in having is a relatively shallow and short-lived one.
Moreover, the ego equates having with BEing; I have; therefore, I am. The more I have, the more I am. It thinks that with success, suddenly we will experience special privileges which ultimately mean that it is special. Concealed within wanting more remains a deep-seated sense of dissatisfaction, of incompleteness, of “not enough.” “I don’t have enough yet,” by which the ego really means, “I am not enough yet.”
Action Item:
When you have a desire for something such a new house or car, determine the real meaning behind the desire. To accomplish this, ask yourself ” what would it mean if I got it?” For example, if you desired a new job, ask, what would that mean?
You may say, “I’ll have more money.”
Again, ask yourself, “what would that mean?” Continue doing this until you find the true reason why you really want it. If the desire is not based on enhancing your ego status, and it comes from your heart, go for it. If your desire exists to bolster your ego, release the desire.
3. The ego has to be right all the time
The ego is very opinionated. In fact, our egos have an opinion on everything. Whether the subject is war, abortion, taxes, religion, politics, etc, the ego believes it is right. Every ego confuses opinions with facts, and it always believes its viewpoints are right, but being right is identification with a mental position - a perspective, an opinion, a judgment, or a story.
Being right is how the ego thinks it will become happy. For you to be right, you need someone else to be wrong, and the ego loves to make others wrong in order to be right. In other words, you need to make others wrong in order to get a stronger sense of who you are, and it give you a sense of superiority which the ego craves.
“We are right and they are wrong” is particularly deeply entrenched in politics and those parts of the world where conflict between two nations, races, religions, or ideologies is longstanding. Both sides of the conflict are equally identified with their own perspective, and each side believe themselves to be in possession of the truth. Both regard themselves as victims and the other as evil and wrong. However, both sides are equally incapable of seeing that another perspective may exist and also be valid.
Action Item:
If you find yourself in a debate with another person and you disagree with the other person’s position, ask yourself if your position is a fact or opinion. For example, if you discussing abortion and your position is that it is wrong, ask yourself is it an opinion or a fact. If you believe it is a fact, ask yourself where did you learn it. Believe it or not, most things you believe are just opinions that someone made up, and you accepted it as being right. If it is an opinion, release it, stop the debate, and choose peace.
Well, these are just three of the ego traps that cause people to suffer. If you become aware of them and use the action items I provided, you will experience a shift that will change your reality.
Namaste,
RC
written by Reginald Cuffee
One of the things that affects your level of prosperity you experience in your life is your relationship with your primary partner (spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other). When most people begin a romantic relationship everything is wonderful and exciting, but for some couples these experiences are short-lived. For other couples, they can have a successful and loving relationship for many decades. So why do some couples seem to have blissful and long-lasting relationships while other simply can’t stay together?
I believe people who have multiple short-lived relationships have never been taught how to have a successful romantic relationship; however, anyone can learn practical relationship advice that can improve this area of his or her life. If you desire to improve your relationship with your primary partner and grow in intimacy and closeness, here is my best relationship advice (tips) that can lead to a more blissful relationship.
Tip 1 - Acknowledge Your Primary Partner
Most people enjoyed being acknowledged for what they do, their feelings and aspirations. Therefore, be grateful for your primary partner and show your appreciation. You can do this by making a list of what you admire about your primary partner and sharing that list with him or her. Furthermore, you can do special things just for him or her such as giving a card, flowers, a foot rub, or going out dinner out?
Tip 2 - Love Means Having to Say You Are Sorry
If you make a mistake by doing or saying something that is hurtful or damaging to your primary partner, apologize by saying that you are sorry. Many people, especially men, struggle with these words, even when they know that what they did was hurtful. It actually takes a strong person to apologize. Do not procrastinate until you think you have the courage or the “right’ words to say; say it immediately and with sincerity. Too often when couples argue, there is a long period of silence, which actually intensifies the anger and tension. I believe that this a form of emotional abuse, and in the long run it will injury the relationship. So, let your primary partner know immediately that you made a mistake, and ask for forgiveness.
Tip 3 - Forgive for the Small and Big Things
If your primary partner has done something that requires you to forgive him or her, you have to forgive if he or she is sincerely asking for forgiveness. I know this can be a big issue for infidelity, but if your intent is to save the relationship, do the work that is require to resolve the situation. Then forgive your primary partner; REALLY forgive. Once you have worked through the situation either together or with relationship counseling, and you tell your primary partner that you forgive him or her, honor your words. This means you can never hold the situation over them again because you forgave and put the past behind you. You new intention for your relationship is now focused on building a new, strong, and healthy relationship. It will not be easy, but you can do it with the right help, attitude, and commitment.
Tip 4- Have a Date Night
One thing that can keeps the spark in your relationship is to have a regular “Date Night”. Many couples, especially for married couples and even for some “dating” couples, stop dating. Often people become very comfortable in their relationship and sitting around on the weekends or watching movies is about as exciting as it gets. Instead plan to go out on dates just like you did when you first meet. Each week, bi-weekly, or much as you and primary agree, plan to go out and have fun. Another thing you can do is be spontaneous and call and ask your primary partner and ask him or her out for a date. For example, actually call him or her and ask, “If you do not have any plans for Saturday night, would you like to go to a show with me?” It is crucial to relationships that you keep the passion alive by enjoying the act of dating.
As part of your “Date Night”, you may want to include intimate time together to at the end of your date. Intimacy and passion in your relationship is not only important, but it is healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. So, make your intimate time together special. Surprise your partner with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.
Tip 5- Reminiscence About the Good Times
Create a memory scrap book to keep anything that the two of you did together such as old movie tickets, concert ticket stubs, brochures from cities visited, amusement park passes, cards attached to flowers received, old love notes or letters, birthday cards or anniversary cards from your primary partner. Every once in awhile, take out the scrap book and look at the items with your primary partner. Reminisce about each memento, and recall all the special times you spent together. As you look at your mementos, you will have feelings of happiness, and you will rekindle the connection between you and your partner.
Tip 6 - Say It With Words
Surprise your primary partner with little notes found in unexpected places. If your partner take a brief case for work, place a loving note somewhere inside the brief case. Perhaps your partner reads regularly. If so, put a post-it note saying, “I love you,” on a page where he or she will find it. Another recommendation is sticking a note on the steering wheel in the car so this will be the first thing seen when he or she get in the car in the morning. If you have a cell phone that is capable of sending text messages, occasionally send one saying “I love you.” Be creative with this relationship advice tip and have some fun with it.
Tip 7 - Increase Your Physical Contact
When couples first start dating, touching, cuddling, and kissing is usually a part of their everyday existence. However, as the relationship progresses into years of marriage, many couples stop most physical contact. So let met ask you, when was the last time you walked up to your primary partner for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on his or her neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. If you haven’t done it lately, now is the time. Furthermore, the next time the two of you are sitting in the car or standing in line at the theater, play with your primary partner’s hair, rub his or her hand, or give a gentle back rub. When you are home, and you partner is sitting on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, get close and tell him or her that you just want to cuddle. This makes both people feel secure and loved.
Well, these seven tips are some of the best relationship advice that can improve and strengthen your relationship. If you put them into practice, you and your primary partner will experience the benefits. See how many of these you can practice in one week with that special person in your life and watch the intimacy in your relationships blossom.
If you want to maximize this relationship advice, you can use the practice of visualization to increase the result. Each day, visualize and feel the feelings you will have when you and your primary partner are having a blissful, and loving relationship.
Namaste,
RC
written by Reginald Cuffee
Many people read self-growth books, listen to personal develop audio courses, and attend wealth training seminars hoping to find the magic formula that will allow them to transform their lives to have wealth and happiness. They believe that if they do what the books, audio courses, or seminars suggest, they will have what they want and that having it automatically makes them into that successful person they always wanted to be.
Unfortunately, most people won’t do what they learned in the self-growth books, the audio courses, and the wealth seminars because it isn’t a natural thing for them to do. The doing of it, just doesn’t fit with the image of who they are.
For example, I had a client who attended a $9,000 real estate seminar. The seminar taught creative and proven marketing and prospecting strategies that would skyrocket her income; however, months later she was not achieving the level of success she desired. In fact, her sales were decreasing.
While working with her, I discovered that she had a fear of rejection, and this is fear was impacting what she was willing to do to be a successful real estate agent.
Even though the real estate seminar told her exactly what to do and how to do it, the new procedures were out of character for her because it wasn’t something she felt comfortable doing. Soon after the seminar ended, she was highly motivated to use some of them to improve her real estate sales, but the new procedures soon fell by the wayside for lack of follow through. And this occurred because of who she was being - a person who feared rejection.
In my assessment, the seminar instructors failed miserably in their job, because they never told her she would have transform who she was being if she was going to be successful using their strategies.
Although she wanted to Be a successful real estate agent, she was following the wrong manifestation process of DO/ HAVE/ BE. This is the same manifestation process that most people have been taught, but it is the wrong order to manifest what you desire. Not only is in the wrong order, but the Universe does not honor it because DO is not the first step in the manifesting process.
By telling us what to do, self-growth books, personal development audio courses, and wealth training seminars suggest that the manifesting order for any change in circumstances is DO / HAVE / BE. However, it just doesn’t work that way because they have the order backward. If you are not already Being that person, you will never be able to do what the authors/ instructors suggest until you change yourself into the person who will do those things as a result of who you are-not in spite of.
The Game of Life is set up so that we must grow in consciousness before you can have that better life you want. Having more requires a transformation, which is the first, not the last step, in the order of manifesting.
We must BE before we can DO, and DO before we can HAVE. The correct order of manifesting for us is BE / DO / HAVE. The real question in life is whether you will choose to Be or not to Be the one who has what you want from life.
Namaste,
RC
written by Reginald Cuffee
Are you a person who expresses gratitude for the prosperity that you are experiencing in your life? Do you know when you express gratitude, you are opening a conduit to manifest great things into your life such as the right people, the right circumstances, better health, increased financial abundance, more joy, etc.?
Now, let me as you another question– do you keep a gratitude journal? If you not currently using one, you are missing out on one of the best tools available to you to help you make your life more enjoyable right now. I believe in the power of the Gratitude Journal so much that I not only use it on a regular basis, but I recommend to all my clients, friends, and family member to start and continue using one because it has the power to deepen the “good” results you are experiencing in your life.
What Is A Gratitude Journal?
A gratitude journal is a paper notebook, electronic text editor (journal), or blog that you use to write about the things you are grateful for each day. It is a way to help you consciously focus on the things you have attracted in your life that make you feel joy. By expressing gratitude, you become aware of these things, thus you create a shift in your thinking and your attitude. Furthermore, a gratitude journal is a place where you can celebrate your wins in your life such as getting a job promotion, starting a new romantic relationship, losing five pounds, or any small or large goal that you have achieved.
Brian Tracy says “Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step towards achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.”
Until you are grateful for what you have right now in your life, you can not expect new things to flow to you. So, if you currently do not have a Gratitude Journal, start one today. The following tips can help you start a Gratitude Journal and a whole new outlook on life.
Tips for Starting and Keeping Your Journal
1. Choose a blank notebook or journal to use as your Gratitude Journal. Consider using a spiral-bound notebook that opens flat for ease in writing. If you like to use technology, you can use an electronic journal or you can use a free blog from www.blogger.com.
2. Every night, create a few quiet minutes before going to bed, review your day, and write a list of at least five things that you are grateful for today. These things can be small or great such as hearing your baby’s laughter, seeing a flower in bloom, hearing a bird chirping near your window, or receiving unexpected money.
3. Make the list personal, and write a few words about why you are grateful for these things. When you initially start, you can be brief, but increase the length of what you write as time progresses. As you do, allow yourself to be free in form and structure. Some days, you might be feeling particularly abundant, and those five things will just fly onto the page. Other days, you may feel like you can’t think of even one thing that you are grateful for that day. It this happens, just remember how amazing it is that you even have a roof over your head, food to eat, or the fact that you have hot water for a bath.
4. You can write your Gratitude Journal in list-form, free-form, prayer-form, or begin each sentence the same way. Use whatever writing style feels comfortable with you that day. Express yourself freely, and do not censor your thoughts and feelings as you write. Just let the information flow from within.
5. Everyday, begin looking for the positive perspective in all things. View obstacles in your life as opportunities to appreciate and grow. Focus on the wonderful things in your life, so you can experience similar encounters in the course of your life. Use positive energy as a magnet to draw even more positive energy, and note the things that show up in your Gratitude Journal.
6. Personalize your Gratitude Journal. Expand it by including photos, clippings, quotes or verses from magazines or other sources.
7. Keep your Gratitude Journal in the same location, so it is easily accessible. The easier you make it for yourself to keep this routine, the more likely will you commit to doing it. I normally keep my Gratitude Journal on my desk in my office or on my night stand in my bedroom, so I can have easy access to it.
8. Keep your Gratitude Journal private. This is very important because this will give you an incentive to be more open and honest with your thoughts and feelings. This journal is for you and Source (God, Universe, etc).
What happens when you write in a gratitude journal every night?
As you continue expressing gratitude in your Gratitude Journal, you will notice more things in your life, and you will create greater feelings of appreciation. My experience is that when I write out what I am grateful every night, I become more in tune throughout the next day. It is like turning on an inner-switch that sets my awareness to look for experiences to be grateful for each day. So you might be jogging in your neighborhood in the morning, and catch the flash of a bluebird in the sunlight, and instead of going pass it, you stop and notice it for a moment. You take it in, and you make a mental note to include that in your gratitude journal. Later when you’re having lunch with a business partner, he grabs the check and pays it. Not only do you thank him, but you make that mental note again. Your day becomes amazing because you are living in the moment enjoying each thing that is occurring.
In essence, you have become a gratitude magnet, and oddly enough, amazing things start to find you. But you have to learn to be grateful now for all that your are experiencing.
To help you get started, here are just a few of the things I wrote in my Gratitude Journal from yesterday.
I am grateful for:
…spending time with my wife walking on the beach and enjoying the beautiful
oceanfront view and the sound of the waves as they rolled in on the shore.
…editing 30 pages in my book that I am writing. It was really fun and amazing easily to accomplish.
…that I chose to exercise even though I was tired from jetlag from my trip to San Diego / La Jolla.
…seeing the turtles and ducks swimming on the lake in our backyard.
…that I was able to enjoy a quiet lunch with my wife where we feasted on an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetable from her garden.
…that more people are visiting and enjoying my blog post.
Another thing you can do in your Gratitude Journal is list the things and experiences that you are grateful for attracting in your life now. These are things and experiences that are not YET in your reality, but are on the way to you now.
Here are a few things from my list:
I am grateful for:
…selling 25,000 copies of my new book in the first 90 days of it being released.
…500,000 people visiting my blog each month
…for my wife helping 25 families buy a new house or sell their existing house.
So, what are you waiting for now. Get started with your Gratitude Journal today. The key to having a Gratitude Journal is doing it! At the end of each moth, it is fun to go back and look at what you wrote to remind yourself of all the positive things you experiences throughout the last month, especially all the great things you consciously attracted in your life. This is such an amazing feeling knowing you consciously manifested things and experiences that were not there the previous month.
Really do this one. In fact, do it for 30 days, and see how the practice changes you. See if you don’t experience joy and experience more miracles in your life.
Namaste,
RC
written by Reginald Cuffee
Today is Independence Day here in the USA, and for many people, it is a day of celebration of our country’s freedom from England. On this day in 1776, America declared its independence and began an incredible experiment in controlling its own destiny.
Although it’s a great day to spend time with your family, attend a picnic, watch a parade, go to the beach, or watch fireworks, today is the perfect day to declare your freedom.
But freedom from what exactly?
- Freedom from the Rat Race where you work in a job doing what you do not enjoy.
- Freedom from financial constraints where you never have to
worry about paying your bills ever again because you have the money to pay for the experiences you desire in life.
- Freedom from a life filled with drudgery of just making a living.
- Freedom to do what you want, when you want to do it because you are not controlled by the 9 to 5 schedule.
Whether you are an America or not, it’s time to celebrate your financial freedom, or if you haven’t achieved it yet, it is time to declare it and go for it at full speed!
Remember, America declared it’s independence on July 4th, 1776; however, the world didn’t recognize America as a free nation until 1783. So, declare it for yourself now.
Once, you make this declaration, take action to BE that person. Release any negative beliefs that repels money from flowing to you, adopt a prosperous mindset, and take inspired action as ideas for flowing money comes to you. If you follow these steps of Be-Do-Have, before long, you will be well on your way to having financial freedom.
Have an exciting and inspiring day.
Namaste,
RC
written by Reginald Cuffee
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